Love

Well Firstly... I owe u an explaination E2... ur E2 cos thats u... i couldn't find another shorter name than that and honestly... i think thats a darn cool nick to be having!! and for the other 2.. their normal nicks were too long so... there u have it... BE PROUD E2!!! BE DAMN PROUD!!! i gave u a heck of a nick..!!! Btw... Shana was Shana... no change in that...

Thanks DeVi_GirL!!! Ur the Best!!! at least ur The only one who commented on that... And Med... for Telling me the ans earlier... :P The rest Of u..!!! Plain Evil... just Plain EVIL i tell u ...!!!

Well enough of that rubbish. Back to the the main part of this.

Well after like say 2 mnths plus i finally like went out to enjoy myself (excluding Vin's bday that is... and the planning sessions involved... Those were purely work... :P) watched a movie after so long... wanted to watch "The Maid" but it wasn't playing yet so ended watching "wedding Crashers". Had a great time even though most of us were sick or about to be sick. Thanks Folks...

Anyway, as i had no idea what to write about in here today, i began trying to source inspiration from everyday life while travelling to and fro places in the buses, MRTs and just even while walking... And it HIT me like a darn brick falling on my head(not as painful though).

Im sure most of u will be able to relate to what i will be writing, especially if we are of the same generation. And for this topic i speak for myself and none of the parties involved!! Although this is not easy cos i aint the sort who usually opens up my feelings to the world...

Relationships. An intriguing topic if u ask me.. In my short life(21 yrs aint alot!!) i have and can truly say loved and still love 4 Women, 2 of whom is my family(my mom and sis) and the Other 2... lets just call them A and B... (for those who know good on ya!!)

I got to know A in Primary School. I've liked her ever since Primary 3. At first i was thinking it was just 'puppy love'. You know, just an an infatuation i thought. But even til now i am still concerned for her and think of her happiness. Not to say say my heart races every time i see or speak to her!! but I know my limits and i know she is in very much in love with her boyfriend and i would never do anything to destory her happiness. The funny thing is that i had just recently confessed my feelings to her and we are good friends now. Although a part of me will never be at rest as it will always be asking "what if...". All that said and done i'd never regret not telling her til now although she knew a couple of yrs back when the only other soul i had told spilled the beans... :P (i seroiusly felt like an idiot when i found out...).

B i got to know in JC. She was the First girl i have EVER cried for... ever!! and she was My first relationship. (i didnt have an interest in anyone in sec school coz SJI didn't have any girls!! DUH!!! And I was and STILL AM straight!!! Just in case u fellas decide to be smart... ) She was an amazing girl. The funny thing is we were world's apart. We never knew each other existed till a certain event in school. We began to hang out, talk over the phone, and BAM!! We connected... It was like the famous theory where opposites attract. It was a clear case of that... We went on for 6 mths. It was the most amazing time spent together. I have learnt so many things from her and i hope she from me... My outlook in life, my attitude and my character. She had a part to shaping all of this to be what they are today. We knew that a certain factor would be a problem in us being together for long( i'm the kinda guy who prefers long term... ) So when we broke up, there was no fight, no bitter squabbles, and most importantly no negative memories. It was a mutual decision that we took so as not to hurt ourselves (as parting at a later instance would mean that we would love each other more and it would be more difficult!!) nor our parents. It was one of the most trying periods of my life. 2 yrs it took me to move on.. To get my confidence that i had with and before i was with her.. But i guess that decision by the 2 of us then made us realise how important our families and friends are to each of us. It made us better people and the memories will last forever..

Well although those are the ones i have loved... and still love though in a different way, i am still a guy and i still have had infatuations. And from each and everyone i have liked i have learnt.

Although i am not in a relationship at present, i long to be in one. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a Playa'... Its just the feeling of someone whom u can confide in and who confides in you, One that u can support and one that supports you back, Someone who u can just hug and lean on whenever your happy or even down, A pillar of support, A listening ear, A friend, A partner, A mentor and many more... A feeling and a person i once had, and long to have.

Every now and then the feeling of lonliness engulfs me. I envy those who are in a relationship. When i see a couple walking hand in hand i imagine myself in their shoes. I also despise those who take relationships for granted. Those who pry on the weakness of the hearts of others just to satisfy their lusts are just plain selfish!! Our Heart is one of His greatest gifts to us besides our minds of course. And it is meant to Love. Purely and unselfishly!!

These entries are just dashes of my true self. My public self is the ever smiling Ass who never fails to amuse, irritate and surprise all with a smile!! I am a Gemini... Wat can i do?

Moral of the day: The best Gift that One who Loves can ever get is LOVE itself!!

Niran